I will still be continuing on waiting even today, however, this might be the last post on waiting. It is more focused on the feelings we go through when waiting.
The human mind is not good at handling stressful situations. Desperation can drive each human crazy in the quest to find the root cause or a solution of the current state of affairs. It is also human nature to not want to be wrong. This is very evident when one becomes impatient because things aren't happening the way they thought they would.
The first defense is always to find something or someone to blame. It often becomes a habit wherein one will never want to face anything head on but instead choose to blame everyone around them. This does not help in anyway, besides making the waiting much longer because life works that way; if you do not own up to your mistakes, it will be very hard on you.
At first people may put up to it, but eventually everyone gets tired. In the end, everyone decides they have had enough. It is in that moment where many implode because they are now forced to face everything without anyone around to blame. They had the chance to take responsibility for their actions while people were there to support them, but they chose to instead blame the very same support structure. And when everyone is gone, life starts to be very unpleasant. Life always works like this. It will always force one to face their fault head on at one point. No matter how much you try to run away, you can never run away from it. While you wait, it is best to take responsibility and start fixing yourself because a time will come when you will have to face it all alone.
Stand up, admit your wrong, take responsibility and change your ways. Otherwise life will force you to in a very unpleasant way. You can only point a finger for as long as there's someone or something to point it to. But one day, the finger pointing will be of no use. Take responsibility now.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Showing posts with label Hardships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hardships. Show all posts
Monday, 22 July 2019
Friday, 19 July 2019
YOU ARE NOT OWED
Today's theme is still on waiting. Last time I did write that there was a lot to write about with regards to waiting. And I ended Wednesday's by telling you to be ready. Today I want to venture a bit more into readiness for what you are waiting for.
Life is not a fairy-tale and I believe most, if not all, of you know that. one doesn't just wish things to reality or throw a coin in a wishing well. Life will not always do what you want. And while you are waiting, it will often feel like life is completely against you. But life doesn't do what you wish for it to do. It usually reacts to what you do.
Complaining is the one thing that will make your waiting a bad experience. Unfortunately it is human nature to complain when things aren't happening our way. However, shift your attitude from on of feeling that life might have 'beef' against you, or someone else might and starting understanding +85% of the work is all you. Whether you blame someone or not, it won't change that fact. You have to own the moment and own your attitude.
Do not waste time feeling sorry and worrying about why it is taking so long. Take that time focusing on building yourself and growing as an individual. When the waiting gives you 99 reason why it is "unfair", "you are cursed", or any other reason why you should give up, give yourself 1 reason to hold on and wait patiently. Stick to the one reason. And when the wait is finally over, you will appreciate what you have been waiting for.
Remember, the world owes you nothing. You can cry and blame everyone for all you like, but at the end of the day you will have to face the music alone. At night when you are sleeping, you will wish you could turn back time and go back to that one moment and be patient. Your impatience today will come back to haunt you tomorrow, and it will have you waiting a whole lot longer than you would've waited now.
Learn to wait. The world owes you nothing.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Life is not a fairy-tale and I believe most, if not all, of you know that. one doesn't just wish things to reality or throw a coin in a wishing well. Life will not always do what you want. And while you are waiting, it will often feel like life is completely against you. But life doesn't do what you wish for it to do. It usually reacts to what you do.
Complaining is the one thing that will make your waiting a bad experience. Unfortunately it is human nature to complain when things aren't happening our way. However, shift your attitude from on of feeling that life might have 'beef' against you, or someone else might and starting understanding +85% of the work is all you. Whether you blame someone or not, it won't change that fact. You have to own the moment and own your attitude.
Do not waste time feeling sorry and worrying about why it is taking so long. Take that time focusing on building yourself and growing as an individual. When the waiting gives you 99 reason why it is "unfair", "you are cursed", or any other reason why you should give up, give yourself 1 reason to hold on and wait patiently. Stick to the one reason. And when the wait is finally over, you will appreciate what you have been waiting for.
Remember, the world owes you nothing. You can cry and blame everyone for all you like, but at the end of the day you will have to face the music alone. At night when you are sleeping, you will wish you could turn back time and go back to that one moment and be patient. Your impatience today will come back to haunt you tomorrow, and it will have you waiting a whole lot longer than you would've waited now.
Learn to wait. The world owes you nothing.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Wednesday, 17 July 2019
YOU'VE GOT TO BURN
Today I will be carrying on with the theme on waiting. I feel there's a lot to say about the experience of waiting which I unfortunately cannot fit into one post. So please bare with me.
The one thing that is common in everyone who is waiting is need. We wait because we need something. I am not referring to waiting for a person, though you can wait for a person whom you need.I am referring to waiting for something to happen that you feel will better your life. There's always a burning desire/need that fuels the waiting. Either you are waiting for a job, a start-up funder etc, the reality is there is a need behind all the waiting.
How deep the desire is, will influence the emotions you go through while you wait. If you are in deep need, it will always feel like a lifetime. But one thing you have to understand is that, if you really need something and you value it that much, then you will have to burn for it. There's no other way besides burning. You have to burn and burn you shall.
The mistake many make is decide to try something else and forget about what they have been waiting for, because they can't take the heat of waiting. If it is really worth much for you, you will burn for it. You sit in that furnace and wait patiently. I too have been in situations wherein quitting felt like a better option. It seemed like things were falling apart. But sometimes things have to fall apart for you to appreciate what is to come. If you didn't have to wait and burn, you wouldn't value it.
It doesn't end in waiting though. You have to be a visionary while you wait. Envision the wait coming to an end. What will you need to better take advantage of whatever you are waiting for. In what circumstances must you be in? Just as a fighter trains hard for a big fighter, you too need to ready yourself for what you are waiting for. Otherwise you will squander it. Sometimes it won't arrive until you have prepared yourself enough. You need to need to be prepared for it.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
The one thing that is common in everyone who is waiting is need. We wait because we need something. I am not referring to waiting for a person, though you can wait for a person whom you need.I am referring to waiting for something to happen that you feel will better your life. There's always a burning desire/need that fuels the waiting. Either you are waiting for a job, a start-up funder etc, the reality is there is a need behind all the waiting.
How deep the desire is, will influence the emotions you go through while you wait. If you are in deep need, it will always feel like a lifetime. But one thing you have to understand is that, if you really need something and you value it that much, then you will have to burn for it. There's no other way besides burning. You have to burn and burn you shall.
The mistake many make is decide to try something else and forget about what they have been waiting for, because they can't take the heat of waiting. If it is really worth much for you, you will burn for it. You sit in that furnace and wait patiently. I too have been in situations wherein quitting felt like a better option. It seemed like things were falling apart. But sometimes things have to fall apart for you to appreciate what is to come. If you didn't have to wait and burn, you wouldn't value it.
It doesn't end in waiting though. You have to be a visionary while you wait. Envision the wait coming to an end. What will you need to better take advantage of whatever you are waiting for. In what circumstances must you be in? Just as a fighter trains hard for a big fighter, you too need to ready yourself for what you are waiting for. Otherwise you will squander it. Sometimes it won't arrive until you have prepared yourself enough. You need to need to be prepared for it.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Monday, 15 July 2019
THE ART OF WAITING
The past couple of months have been a big test for me. I have been tested and pushed to my limits. But most importantly, it was my patience that was being tested in order to make me a better person. And it made me realise one about myself which I have also noted in other people as well. People hate waiting.
When I took time off from writing, I had reached a point wherein I knew I wasn't going to be able to produce anything of value, and also to make all the readers wait. But let's focus on what waiting entails. I used to think waiting simply meant that if for example someone says I will come at 5, I had to sit there till they arrived. I was completely wrong.
Waiting is not about being able to 'wait' till something or someone arrives. The bigger part and lesson to waiting is the battle that starts brewing within. It more about what you do while you wait. Pay attention to what you do when you wait. Often times when we have to wait for prolonged periods, our faith is tested. It is the true test of waiting. Our reaction to the waiting gets worse with time. And often times we give up on the waiting because "we have waited for too long".
What I found was that once you get over all that inner fighting, impatience, grumbling and anger, you start to not be aware much of the fact that you are waiting and focus more on that you are on a journey and each journey has a destination. Once you shift your mindset, you start seeing things from a different and more beautiful angle.
Next time you have to wait for weeks, months or even years, remember that how you react can determine if whatever you are waiting for arrives to find you or arrives to find you gone.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
When I took time off from writing, I had reached a point wherein I knew I wasn't going to be able to produce anything of value, and also to make all the readers wait. But let's focus on what waiting entails. I used to think waiting simply meant that if for example someone says I will come at 5, I had to sit there till they arrived. I was completely wrong.
Waiting is not about being able to 'wait' till something or someone arrives. The bigger part and lesson to waiting is the battle that starts brewing within. It more about what you do while you wait. Pay attention to what you do when you wait. Often times when we have to wait for prolonged periods, our faith is tested. It is the true test of waiting. Our reaction to the waiting gets worse with time. And often times we give up on the waiting because "we have waited for too long".
What I found was that once you get over all that inner fighting, impatience, grumbling and anger, you start to not be aware much of the fact that you are waiting and focus more on that you are on a journey and each journey has a destination. Once you shift your mindset, you start seeing things from a different and more beautiful angle.
Next time you have to wait for weeks, months or even years, remember that how you react can determine if whatever you are waiting for arrives to find you or arrives to find you gone.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Monday, 13 May 2019
CHEATERS AND LIARS, AND WHY IT'S NOT A MISTAKE
Many of us have had that one person whom we loved so much but the person lied, cheated or did both. Often times when this happens the same person will come apologising saying it was a mistake. Allow me to explain why I feel someone who lies and/or cheats isn't really sorry if they say it was a mistake. In fact, that's an apology that's just meant to manipulate you
If you really want to understand it, try looking into the meaning of a mistake and what makes a mistake what it is. It is based more on being unaware of what should have been done correctly. So for it to be a mistake, the person must've been unaware.
Going back to the cheaters and liars, are they not aware of their acts? The person know they are in a relationship or married, yet they choose to go ahead with it. They know the truth and are aware of the truth and choose to do it still. You can never make a mistake when you are well aware of your actions. They know the truth, and they know what they are doing, but because they do not value or respect you, they choose to go ahead with you. That is why they come back and say it was a mistake. How is it a mistake when you knew what you were doing was wrong and still did it? The only mistake in the whole thing is that they weren't aware that they might one day get caught. So if they say it was a mistake, you now know they are not apologising for what they did, but the fact that they got caught.
Also, they use the whole mistake excuse as a way to blackmail you to forgive and take them back. Often times, "it was a mistake" is followed by or meant to make you say something along the lines "Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes". But the truth is lying and cheating is not a mistake, so do not go out there feeling guilty, because if you fall for it, you will never find out the truth and will be taken for a fool. The lies will never stop for as long as you fall for the "it was a mistake" excuse. It is okay to forgive, but even when you do, do not tell yourself it was a mistake. It was not a mistake. Accept that before you forgive, then you will truly forgive the person. Though I'd advice to forgive and let go.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
If you really want to understand it, try looking into the meaning of a mistake and what makes a mistake what it is. It is based more on being unaware of what should have been done correctly. So for it to be a mistake, the person must've been unaware.
Going back to the cheaters and liars, are they not aware of their acts? The person know they are in a relationship or married, yet they choose to go ahead with it. They know the truth and are aware of the truth and choose to do it still. You can never make a mistake when you are well aware of your actions. They know the truth, and they know what they are doing, but because they do not value or respect you, they choose to go ahead with you. That is why they come back and say it was a mistake. How is it a mistake when you knew what you were doing was wrong and still did it? The only mistake in the whole thing is that they weren't aware that they might one day get caught. So if they say it was a mistake, you now know they are not apologising for what they did, but the fact that they got caught.
Also, they use the whole mistake excuse as a way to blackmail you to forgive and take them back. Often times, "it was a mistake" is followed by or meant to make you say something along the lines "Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes". But the truth is lying and cheating is not a mistake, so do not go out there feeling guilty, because if you fall for it, you will never find out the truth and will be taken for a fool. The lies will never stop for as long as you fall for the "it was a mistake" excuse. It is okay to forgive, but even when you do, do not tell yourself it was a mistake. It was not a mistake. Accept that before you forgive, then you will truly forgive the person. Though I'd advice to forgive and let go.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Monday, 6 May 2019
NATURAL SELECTION
The weight of life can sometimes feel like it is too much. Sometimes it looks like things are falling apart. But it is all a matter of perspective. It is all a matter of where you look at it from. The glass is half empty, yet it is half full. It is about which side of the reality you want to be on.
Sometimes you think life is falling apart, while life is actually doing away with what you do not need and preparing you for what you need. Just because you want something doesn't necessarily mean you need it. Very often we get attached to the things we do not need but rather want. And sometimes our wants are shaped by our society and friends. We chase after all these things that we think will make us feel good, while in fact they will just add to our sorrows. It is an ever going emotionally taxing cycle.
But what if you looked at it from a different perspective when you lose all these things and people you want but do not need? What if you looked at it more as natural selection? Would it not help you let go of all these things and trust that it is the natural way that things are meant to be? Would it not help you heal and be less bitter and vengeful? Sometimes holding on to something will prevent something new from coming. Just as when a glass is full, you cannot pour anything into it. You first have to pour out what's in it, before putting in something else. And that is the problem with us. We try to force everything into one cup to fulfill our egos, and end up wondering why we have a bitter cocktail of life. You can't go mixing what's not supposed to be mixed and expect good results.
Let go. Pour out what's in your cup. Make space for what's to come. If life wants to pour it out for you, cry not. Let life pour it out, and make space for what's good for you. May you find strength and courage to accept it when life says somethings is not good for you, and to be able to let go.
WITH LOVE...
M.
Sometimes you think life is falling apart, while life is actually doing away with what you do not need and preparing you for what you need. Just because you want something doesn't necessarily mean you need it. Very often we get attached to the things we do not need but rather want. And sometimes our wants are shaped by our society and friends. We chase after all these things that we think will make us feel good, while in fact they will just add to our sorrows. It is an ever going emotionally taxing cycle.
But what if you looked at it from a different perspective when you lose all these things and people you want but do not need? What if you looked at it more as natural selection? Would it not help you let go of all these things and trust that it is the natural way that things are meant to be? Would it not help you heal and be less bitter and vengeful? Sometimes holding on to something will prevent something new from coming. Just as when a glass is full, you cannot pour anything into it. You first have to pour out what's in it, before putting in something else. And that is the problem with us. We try to force everything into one cup to fulfill our egos, and end up wondering why we have a bitter cocktail of life. You can't go mixing what's not supposed to be mixed and expect good results.
Let go. Pour out what's in your cup. Make space for what's to come. If life wants to pour it out for you, cry not. Let life pour it out, and make space for what's good for you. May you find strength and courage to accept it when life says somethings is not good for you, and to be able to let go.
WITH LOVE...
M.
Wednesday, 24 April 2019
STOP AND THINK ABOUT THIS
First of all allow me to apologise for having not written anything the past Friday and Monday. We all know Easter was upon us. I too needed some time off away from everything and just have time alone to think about my life. And something dawned on me in the middle of those thoughts. It was more of a voice in my head. "You do realise that one day you might just show up dead in a ditch right?" the voice said. I've never laughed so hard in my laugh. I mean, what could possibly lead to that? I live a very 'dull' life for most right?
Well I was missing the point. The point wasn't how I would die (God help me that I don't end up in a ditch somewhere). The point is that we are all going to die. Now as much as many may think it's okay to lazy around because you are going to die some day, I actually want to focus on the opposite to that. Ask yourself one question. If I were to show up dead in ditch tomorrow, what would people remember me for? Would I be remembered as the ditch corpse? Or would I be remembered for something more positive?
How are you living your life? That was the main aim of the voice in my head. To remind me that I need to give life my best. Very often we get too comfortable and forget to keep chasing greatness. But we forget that tomorrow is not promised. I just want to challenge all of you to go out there with positivity, aiming to be the best you can be. Contribute positively into the world and help make it a better place. That way if you end dead in a ditch somewhere, we will remember you good works. You will be remembered as the person who did a lot for society. Be an answer in this life. Spread positive energy.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Well I was missing the point. The point wasn't how I would die (God help me that I don't end up in a ditch somewhere). The point is that we are all going to die. Now as much as many may think it's okay to lazy around because you are going to die some day, I actually want to focus on the opposite to that. Ask yourself one question. If I were to show up dead in ditch tomorrow, what would people remember me for? Would I be remembered as the ditch corpse? Or would I be remembered for something more positive?
How are you living your life? That was the main aim of the voice in my head. To remind me that I need to give life my best. Very often we get too comfortable and forget to keep chasing greatness. But we forget that tomorrow is not promised. I just want to challenge all of you to go out there with positivity, aiming to be the best you can be. Contribute positively into the world and help make it a better place. That way if you end dead in a ditch somewhere, we will remember you good works. You will be remembered as the person who did a lot for society. Be an answer in this life. Spread positive energy.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Friday, 29 March 2019
SAIL ON
I have recently been going through my old writings which I found in my google drive. It has been a long journey. Travelled to the dark abyss and back to the light again. What a journey it has been. Today's blog is inspired by the reflections that followed after reading everything.
In life, we are like sailors at sea. No one knows what the sea holds for them each day, but we all pray and hope it has the best for us. Some do not even know where they are sailing to. And for those who do, some do not know the way to get to where they want to get to. To those drifting with the oceans, and those who are trying to sail to a destination, remember to enjoy the scenery. The journey itself is just as important as the destination. There is always going to be an element of surprise when you in this sea of life. Some will surprise you, and some will really surprise you.
Then there will be days when there are storms. We only have different boats and thus the behaviour during a storm will be different. But each of us is given a boat according to our strengths. The smaller the boat, the more strength you have, and will gain. Imagine a small wooden fishing boat out at sea in a raging storm. It would definitely take a lot of skills to survive that. And the truth is, we all have it in us to sail that tiny boat to our destination. It might be an island, or another continent, but we have the skills. You have the skill. I have the skills. The oceans will rock you back and fourth, and at times you will see your life flash before your eyes. Do not give in to the ocean. There is always a storm before a calm(haha, I know I switched that).
There might be other sailors around, but none will abandon their ship to come save you, leaving theirs to sink. They may try their best to help in other ways, but do not expect them to drop everything for you. That is how life is. No one will drop everything for you, because each one of us is going to the same storm in the same sea. And you have the strength to make it with the little or no assistance that you have. In the end it will build your character and make you a strong person. Rough seas make the best sailors.You just need to face the fear and tell yourself, I can do this.
This is for all of you out there who might be feeling discouraged, defeated or helpless. You are not helpless. You have yourself and your boat. Keep sailing on. If you stop you will not get to where you are supposed to go. Do not give in. The scary moments will be your battle scars one day. You will look back at where you have been, and be thankful you never gave up. It doesn't matter how hard it gets, or how much it feels like death is upon you.KEEP SAILING ON.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
In life, we are like sailors at sea. No one knows what the sea holds for them each day, but we all pray and hope it has the best for us. Some do not even know where they are sailing to. And for those who do, some do not know the way to get to where they want to get to. To those drifting with the oceans, and those who are trying to sail to a destination, remember to enjoy the scenery. The journey itself is just as important as the destination. There is always going to be an element of surprise when you in this sea of life. Some will surprise you, and some will really surprise you.
Then there will be days when there are storms. We only have different boats and thus the behaviour during a storm will be different. But each of us is given a boat according to our strengths. The smaller the boat, the more strength you have, and will gain. Imagine a small wooden fishing boat out at sea in a raging storm. It would definitely take a lot of skills to survive that. And the truth is, we all have it in us to sail that tiny boat to our destination. It might be an island, or another continent, but we have the skills. You have the skill. I have the skills. The oceans will rock you back and fourth, and at times you will see your life flash before your eyes. Do not give in to the ocean. There is always a storm before a calm(haha, I know I switched that).
There might be other sailors around, but none will abandon their ship to come save you, leaving theirs to sink. They may try their best to help in other ways, but do not expect them to drop everything for you. That is how life is. No one will drop everything for you, because each one of us is going to the same storm in the same sea. And you have the strength to make it with the little or no assistance that you have. In the end it will build your character and make you a strong person. Rough seas make the best sailors.You just need to face the fear and tell yourself, I can do this.
This is for all of you out there who might be feeling discouraged, defeated or helpless. You are not helpless. You have yourself and your boat. Keep sailing on. If you stop you will not get to where you are supposed to go. Do not give in. The scary moments will be your battle scars one day. You will look back at where you have been, and be thankful you never gave up. It doesn't matter how hard it gets, or how much it feels like death is upon you.KEEP SAILING ON.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
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