It has been long since I last posted. And a lot has happened since. I have come to realise something that has been holding me back for so long that might also be holding some of you. The Past. Many of us who have been through painful times at the hands of someone, may think we have moved on and feel like we have moved on. In our minds, we are convinced we have moved on because we no longer think of the past.We feel we have moved on because we no longer sit down and cry about it.
However, this is a very deadly trap that will always have the past repeating itself. The reality is that, letting go of the past is not just about letting go of the pain and the memories of someone or something. One can completely forget about all these and leave them behind, while having not moved on. The biggest sign for me, was in my failure to appreciate what I currently had in life. As much as I had forgotten about the past and "moved on", there was something that was still wrong with me. When we experience things in our life, they change who we are for better or for worse. When you go through a bad experience, there is a lot that happens to your character and sense of being, which often remains behind long after we have forgotten about the painful experiences. And it is this, that was making me not realise what I had.
Due to past transgressions by others against me, my faith in humanity was very low. And as much as I had moved on, I hadn't fixed the damage that was done. It took me making mistakes and close calls with death, to realise that I needed to reflect on my life and what I had. It was then that I realised that as much as I thought I had moved on, I hadn't fixed the damage done by the past. And this is the one thing haunting many of us today. We try to forget about painful experiences and think we have moved on, while having not fixed the damage done. Some major signs of having not moved on include insecurities, lack of self-esteem/self-worth, settling etc. When you find yourself having "moved on", but without the same lively spirit that you had before, it is a sign that you have forgotten but not moved on.
Take off the memories, pains, damage and experiences you go through. Make sure you undo all the damage. Do not let it change who you are. Take it all off and leave it in the past. Only then will you experience the true freedom of moving on.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
