CHEATERS AND LIARS, AND WHY IT'S NOT A MISTAKE

Many of us have had that one person whom we loved so much but the person lied, cheated or did both. Often times when this happens the same person will come apologising saying it was a mistake. Allow me to explain why I feel someone who lies and/or cheats isn't really sorry if they say it was a mistake. In fact, that's an apology that's just meant to manipulate you

If you really want to understand it, try looking into the meaning of a mistake and what makes a mistake what it is. It is based more on being unaware of what should have been done correctly. So for it to be a mistake, the person must've been unaware.

Going back to the cheaters and liars, are they not aware of their acts? The person know they are in a relationship or married, yet they choose to go ahead  with it. They know the truth and are aware of the truth and choose to do it still. You can never make a mistake when you are well aware of your actions. They know the truth, and they know what they are doing, but because they do not value or respect you, they choose to go ahead with you. That is why they come back and say it was a mistake. How is it a mistake when you knew what you were doing was wrong and still did it? The only mistake in the whole thing is that they weren't aware that they might one day get caught. So if they say it was a mistake, you now know they are not apologising for what they did, but the fact that they got caught.

Also, they use the whole mistake excuse as a way to blackmail you to forgive and take them back. Often times, "it was a mistake" is followed by or meant to make you say something along the lines "Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes". But the truth is lying and cheating is not a mistake, so do not go out there feeling guilty, because if you fall for it, you will never find out the truth and will be taken for a fool. The lies will never stop for as long as you fall for the "it was a mistake" excuse. It is okay to forgive, but even when you do, do not tell yourself it was a mistake. It was not a mistake. Accept that before you forgive, then you will truly forgive the person. Though I'd advice to forgive and let go.

WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba

A CARING CIRCLE

I wasn't planning to write about this today, but a lot has happened which has led to me writing this. I am writing it out of a concerned and caring heart for each and everyone of you out there.

Times are not getting easier for anyone, especially with the current global economic downswing. Many people have gotten used to the life they had before and sometimes it's just too hard to downgrade. Many who have put up a front of living the good life cannot/do not want to live anything less. And this has created a very big problem which many are not aware of. Abuse and psychological issues.

We often see those around us, including friends, showing off the good life on. Be it in person or on social media, these people always seem to be happy. And we as they close friends or loved ones, encourage such behavior. Our comments, and behavior around these people, though not meant to harm, actually do harm. We are often not too real with these people. And sometimes they do not feel free around us. What we need is an open environment with loved ones. A real environment of truth and openness wherein we are all free to express how we feel.

With regards to women, this good life chase, can at times be a mask to hide the abuse. And if we as such a person's friends do not make her feel free enough to open up without fear of shaming, then we are failing as friends. Both male and female friends of such a person should make the person feel free enough to talk about anything. We need to be real friends to those around us, and not just the 'rich' one but all of our friends. There have recently been many cases of women who were being abused but hiding behind the good life. There are many more out there, and it takes you and me by being friends to actually get these people to open up. And when they do, we ought to make them feel protected, with no shaming or judgments.

Another issue is with regards to emotional and psychological states. This is something that can affect anyone, and society doesn't want to openly talk about it. Many people who took their lives could've been saved had they had good friends who listen. Often times we can tell when someone is not alright. But instead of making the person feel free to open up and reassuring them our love and protection, we carry on as if everything is normal. And when we lose the person, we then want to claim we loved them. Sometimes it takes just a hug and reminding your friends how much you love them, in order for them to open up.

I urge you all to go out and be positive and observant. Go and be great support system. Be real with those around you. Remind them that it's okay to cry and ask for help. Show them your support and protection. You will save someone's life by doing so. Create an open environment which encourages speaking out. Do not be that person who shows love as the coffin goes down. Show the love while the person is still around. Let's us go and change the world and make it an environment where we all grow together and take care of one another.

WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba