Many of us live in the fast lane. Everything happens at a very fast pace. The job we do on a daily basis, hangouts etc, are all very intense and fast paced. But we just keep moving forward or going deeper. Very little do we sit down and just look at the light.
We are so deeply focused on everything that is going on in front of us that we are more likely to see what we lack, than what we have. We want to push hard and get that thing, secure that bag and make that big move. That is absolutely needed. We all have to work hard. We all have to achieve big. But the problem starts when we think that is the only thing that will make us happy. We place our whole definition of happiness on what we can achieve. It is something that has gotten hold of many of us, myself included.
But recently I was made to realise that even when I push myself and work hard towards something, I must always take a moment to appreciate the little things around me. The things that may not say to me "We need to be appreciated", but if I lost them, I wouldn't be the same nor happy even with all the money and assets the world can give. How easy we forget. How easy we forget about those around us, spend little time checking on their health, making a call to them, telling them we love them, cooking for them, giving them a hug etc. How easy we forget. We think we do not need these things, but these things are our foundation.
Nurture these people and the little things that come along with it. Appreciate life from the smallest thing, and when big things come, they will not change who you are. Our world is so caught up in the problems because we have all forgotten to appreciate what we already have. We too caught up in likes, follows, retweets and what we do not have and pay little attention to what we have. We do not see the blessings we already have.
How easy we forget.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Friday, 17 May 2019
Wednesday, 15 May 2019
WHAT COULD HAPPEN NEXT?
Everything in this life is about choices. We are always going to make choices. The choice to wake up. The choice not to. Life always gives you many choices. It also gives you the choice to sit down and say I have no choice. Each and everyone of the choices we make will influence the set of choices life offers to us next time. It will also have consequences. And that is the thing that is troubling.
It is very important to not rush to taking a decision each time. Even with the small choices, because there's always going to be an after effect. Sometimes we the effects come when we've forgotten about the choices we made. Always stop, even if it's for a second, and ask yourself "what could happen next if you made a certain choice".
If someone shouts at you, what could happen next if you shouted back? If someone cheated on you, what could happen if your cheated back? If someone lied to you what could happen next if you stopped trusting whatever they say? Every choice is always going to have an outcome. Very often, when in the moment, we never stop to think of the outcomes. We let the moment tell us what choices to make, sometimes leading to regret.
Every choice you make right now will affect your path of life, either instantly or some time in the future. Always pause, and ask yourself, "What could happen next?".
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
It is very important to not rush to taking a decision each time. Even with the small choices, because there's always going to be an after effect. Sometimes we the effects come when we've forgotten about the choices we made. Always stop, even if it's for a second, and ask yourself "what could happen next if you made a certain choice".
If someone shouts at you, what could happen next if you shouted back? If someone cheated on you, what could happen if your cheated back? If someone lied to you what could happen next if you stopped trusting whatever they say? Every choice is always going to have an outcome. Very often, when in the moment, we never stop to think of the outcomes. We let the moment tell us what choices to make, sometimes leading to regret.
Every choice you make right now will affect your path of life, either instantly or some time in the future. Always pause, and ask yourself, "What could happen next?".
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Monday, 13 May 2019
CHEATERS AND LIARS, AND WHY IT'S NOT A MISTAKE
Many of us have had that one person whom we loved so much but the person lied, cheated or did both. Often times when this happens the same person will come apologising saying it was a mistake. Allow me to explain why I feel someone who lies and/or cheats isn't really sorry if they say it was a mistake. In fact, that's an apology that's just meant to manipulate you
If you really want to understand it, try looking into the meaning of a mistake and what makes a mistake what it is. It is based more on being unaware of what should have been done correctly. So for it to be a mistake, the person must've been unaware.
Going back to the cheaters and liars, are they not aware of their acts? The person know they are in a relationship or married, yet they choose to go ahead with it. They know the truth and are aware of the truth and choose to do it still. You can never make a mistake when you are well aware of your actions. They know the truth, and they know what they are doing, but because they do not value or respect you, they choose to go ahead with you. That is why they come back and say it was a mistake. How is it a mistake when you knew what you were doing was wrong and still did it? The only mistake in the whole thing is that they weren't aware that they might one day get caught. So if they say it was a mistake, you now know they are not apologising for what they did, but the fact that they got caught.
Also, they use the whole mistake excuse as a way to blackmail you to forgive and take them back. Often times, "it was a mistake" is followed by or meant to make you say something along the lines "Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes". But the truth is lying and cheating is not a mistake, so do not go out there feeling guilty, because if you fall for it, you will never find out the truth and will be taken for a fool. The lies will never stop for as long as you fall for the "it was a mistake" excuse. It is okay to forgive, but even when you do, do not tell yourself it was a mistake. It was not a mistake. Accept that before you forgive, then you will truly forgive the person. Though I'd advice to forgive and let go.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
If you really want to understand it, try looking into the meaning of a mistake and what makes a mistake what it is. It is based more on being unaware of what should have been done correctly. So for it to be a mistake, the person must've been unaware.
Going back to the cheaters and liars, are they not aware of their acts? The person know they are in a relationship or married, yet they choose to go ahead with it. They know the truth and are aware of the truth and choose to do it still. You can never make a mistake when you are well aware of your actions. They know the truth, and they know what they are doing, but because they do not value or respect you, they choose to go ahead with you. That is why they come back and say it was a mistake. How is it a mistake when you knew what you were doing was wrong and still did it? The only mistake in the whole thing is that they weren't aware that they might one day get caught. So if they say it was a mistake, you now know they are not apologising for what they did, but the fact that they got caught.
Also, they use the whole mistake excuse as a way to blackmail you to forgive and take them back. Often times, "it was a mistake" is followed by or meant to make you say something along the lines "Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes". But the truth is lying and cheating is not a mistake, so do not go out there feeling guilty, because if you fall for it, you will never find out the truth and will be taken for a fool. The lies will never stop for as long as you fall for the "it was a mistake" excuse. It is okay to forgive, but even when you do, do not tell yourself it was a mistake. It was not a mistake. Accept that before you forgive, then you will truly forgive the person. Though I'd advice to forgive and let go.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Friday, 10 May 2019
REFLECTIONS
If life was like standing before a mirror, the past would be looking into your reflection's eyes and seeing the inner most pain, regret and mistakes. It would be the one thing few of us do. In fact, it is the one thing that few of us actually do. How many of us look deep into those eyes when standing in front of a mirror? How many of us want to think of the past?
I know many say it's best to leave the past behind, but sometimes the past will haunt you till you look at it in the eyes. Nobody wants to admit their mistakes, so we tend to avoid that inner conversation with the past. The world of today is moving away from facing things to more of "closing my eyes and hoping when I open them everything will be fine". And the sad part is, we close our eyes without praying. We run far away from anything and/or anyone that aims to correct us. We are too proud and individualistic.
But it is in the past where we learn what not to do today and tomorrow. It is in the past that we somehow get that enlightenment. You don't have to dwell in the past, but rather reflect on your progress from the past as well as checking if you are a better person or not. Are you still as naive, self centered as before? Are people still walking out of your life as before, and why? Reflecting is a way to find our mistakes and imperfection, then polishing them out. It is the only way you can plan your journey to happiness. Understanding your past and reflecting on it, will help you avoid going back to it a.k.a repeating it.
And no matter how hard you avoid reflecting, life will eventually force you to do it. On that one cold night alone. It will break you... In order to make you.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
I know many say it's best to leave the past behind, but sometimes the past will haunt you till you look at it in the eyes. Nobody wants to admit their mistakes, so we tend to avoid that inner conversation with the past. The world of today is moving away from facing things to more of "closing my eyes and hoping when I open them everything will be fine". And the sad part is, we close our eyes without praying. We run far away from anything and/or anyone that aims to correct us. We are too proud and individualistic.
But it is in the past where we learn what not to do today and tomorrow. It is in the past that we somehow get that enlightenment. You don't have to dwell in the past, but rather reflect on your progress from the past as well as checking if you are a better person or not. Are you still as naive, self centered as before? Are people still walking out of your life as before, and why? Reflecting is a way to find our mistakes and imperfection, then polishing them out. It is the only way you can plan your journey to happiness. Understanding your past and reflecting on it, will help you avoid going back to it a.k.a repeating it.
And no matter how hard you avoid reflecting, life will eventually force you to do it. On that one cold night alone. It will break you... In order to make you.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Monday, 6 May 2019
NATURAL SELECTION
The weight of life can sometimes feel like it is too much. Sometimes it looks like things are falling apart. But it is all a matter of perspective. It is all a matter of where you look at it from. The glass is half empty, yet it is half full. It is about which side of the reality you want to be on.
Sometimes you think life is falling apart, while life is actually doing away with what you do not need and preparing you for what you need. Just because you want something doesn't necessarily mean you need it. Very often we get attached to the things we do not need but rather want. And sometimes our wants are shaped by our society and friends. We chase after all these things that we think will make us feel good, while in fact they will just add to our sorrows. It is an ever going emotionally taxing cycle.
But what if you looked at it from a different perspective when you lose all these things and people you want but do not need? What if you looked at it more as natural selection? Would it not help you let go of all these things and trust that it is the natural way that things are meant to be? Would it not help you heal and be less bitter and vengeful? Sometimes holding on to something will prevent something new from coming. Just as when a glass is full, you cannot pour anything into it. You first have to pour out what's in it, before putting in something else. And that is the problem with us. We try to force everything into one cup to fulfill our egos, and end up wondering why we have a bitter cocktail of life. You can't go mixing what's not supposed to be mixed and expect good results.
Let go. Pour out what's in your cup. Make space for what's to come. If life wants to pour it out for you, cry not. Let life pour it out, and make space for what's good for you. May you find strength and courage to accept it when life says somethings is not good for you, and to be able to let go.
WITH LOVE...
M.
Sometimes you think life is falling apart, while life is actually doing away with what you do not need and preparing you for what you need. Just because you want something doesn't necessarily mean you need it. Very often we get attached to the things we do not need but rather want. And sometimes our wants are shaped by our society and friends. We chase after all these things that we think will make us feel good, while in fact they will just add to our sorrows. It is an ever going emotionally taxing cycle.
But what if you looked at it from a different perspective when you lose all these things and people you want but do not need? What if you looked at it more as natural selection? Would it not help you let go of all these things and trust that it is the natural way that things are meant to be? Would it not help you heal and be less bitter and vengeful? Sometimes holding on to something will prevent something new from coming. Just as when a glass is full, you cannot pour anything into it. You first have to pour out what's in it, before putting in something else. And that is the problem with us. We try to force everything into one cup to fulfill our egos, and end up wondering why we have a bitter cocktail of life. You can't go mixing what's not supposed to be mixed and expect good results.
Let go. Pour out what's in your cup. Make space for what's to come. If life wants to pour it out for you, cry not. Let life pour it out, and make space for what's good for you. May you find strength and courage to accept it when life says somethings is not good for you, and to be able to let go.
WITH LOVE...
M.
Friday, 3 May 2019
REMEMBER TO REMEMBER
We all have our dreams and goals. I believe most of us are doing something to get to where we want to get. Sometimes it gets really hard, and sometimes it gets really easy. As long as you keep moving forward.
Remember to remember though, that it is your dream, and not other people's dream. When working towards your dream, there will be people around you with all sorts of comments and ideas. Only take in the good ones that will take you to the destination. Remember that the dream is yours and nobody understands it better than you. You are the one who sees the end, and knows how far you are from it. If other people reach their goals early, good for them, their race is finished; yours must carry on. Focus less on competing because the person you might want to compete with does not have the same dreams as you. You dream might be to create jobs for thousands of people while the other person's dream is to be one of those thousands of people. Remember the dream is yours, and shouldn't be measured by others.
Also remember to remember that not everyone will cheer for you. Just as soccer teams have fans and those who hate them, the same is true for dreamers and go-getters. Not everyone will be your biggest fan. Some people will try to bring you down with words and actions. The people that do not understand what you are chasing, and those that are envious will try to hold you back. It is a game of emotional intelligence. Hold yourself together, put in all your effort and trust God. Challenges will come, but remember the goals and dreams you have. Go out and make them a reality. Go out and prove it to yourself and others that it is possible. If you give up because of what someone said or did, you are the one who will have failed, and not the other person.
Remember, it is all on you.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Remember to remember though, that it is your dream, and not other people's dream. When working towards your dream, there will be people around you with all sorts of comments and ideas. Only take in the good ones that will take you to the destination. Remember that the dream is yours and nobody understands it better than you. You are the one who sees the end, and knows how far you are from it. If other people reach their goals early, good for them, their race is finished; yours must carry on. Focus less on competing because the person you might want to compete with does not have the same dreams as you. You dream might be to create jobs for thousands of people while the other person's dream is to be one of those thousands of people. Remember the dream is yours, and shouldn't be measured by others.
Also remember to remember that not everyone will cheer for you. Just as soccer teams have fans and those who hate them, the same is true for dreamers and go-getters. Not everyone will be your biggest fan. Some people will try to bring you down with words and actions. The people that do not understand what you are chasing, and those that are envious will try to hold you back. It is a game of emotional intelligence. Hold yourself together, put in all your effort and trust God. Challenges will come, but remember the goals and dreams you have. Go out and make them a reality. Go out and prove it to yourself and others that it is possible. If you give up because of what someone said or did, you are the one who will have failed, and not the other person.
Remember, it is all on you.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Wednesday, 1 May 2019
USE YOUR TIME WISELY
Being a youth is a blessing. A blessing many seem to misunderstand. You ought to enjoy your youthful. However, many mistake enjoying their youth for destroying their future. It is common sight these days. Youth throwing their youthfulness away in the name of "Enjoying being young".
So how are we supposed to enjoy our youth? A simple line I always says to myself sums it all up. "Stay awake now, and sleep later". I know some of you may get jumpy thinking I mean stay awake all night drinking your youth away, and sleep the whole weekend. Unfortunately, that is not what I mean. It more about understanding that you have the energy, brains and time now, than you will have in the next 10 years.
It is best to stay awake now, working towards building your future, so when you get old you get to sleep in peace. Work hard while you are still your own dependent or have few dependents, as a time will come where they will be others crying. If you do not prepare now, you will never sleep when you get old. But if you prepare now, they will not bother you when they arrive. Many of us just want joy and fun, and we want it now. We think we will stay young forever. But we don't stay young forever; neither do we live forever.
Being a youth means you have time to make the foundation that your future self will be cemented on. Sometimes it will feel like it's not worth it, as you work so hard and see little results. But very often, this teaches us lesson and gives us experiences which will come in handy in the future. Use the time you have now to learn as much as you can. Instead of going out each weekend, have time indoors wherein you read and watch videos and new, relating to your career or business.
The truth is, if you work hard now, you will have enough reason and time to celebrate in the future. But if you try to celebrate the minuscule achievement now, you will have nothing to celebrate in the future. You may as well be celebrating your future downfall and lack. Prioritise what is important and put in effort and time.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
So how are we supposed to enjoy our youth? A simple line I always says to myself sums it all up. "Stay awake now, and sleep later". I know some of you may get jumpy thinking I mean stay awake all night drinking your youth away, and sleep the whole weekend. Unfortunately, that is not what I mean. It more about understanding that you have the energy, brains and time now, than you will have in the next 10 years.
It is best to stay awake now, working towards building your future, so when you get old you get to sleep in peace. Work hard while you are still your own dependent or have few dependents, as a time will come where they will be others crying. If you do not prepare now, you will never sleep when you get old. But if you prepare now, they will not bother you when they arrive. Many of us just want joy and fun, and we want it now. We think we will stay young forever. But we don't stay young forever; neither do we live forever.
Being a youth means you have time to make the foundation that your future self will be cemented on. Sometimes it will feel like it's not worth it, as you work so hard and see little results. But very often, this teaches us lesson and gives us experiences which will come in handy in the future. Use the time you have now to learn as much as you can. Instead of going out each weekend, have time indoors wherein you read and watch videos and new, relating to your career or business.
The truth is, if you work hard now, you will have enough reason and time to celebrate in the future. But if you try to celebrate the minuscule achievement now, you will have nothing to celebrate in the future. You may as well be celebrating your future downfall and lack. Prioritise what is important and put in effort and time.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
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