It has been long since I last posted. And a lot has happened since. I have come to realise something that has been holding me back for so long that might also be holding some of you. The Past. Many of us who have been through painful times at the hands of someone, may think we have moved on and feel like we have moved on. In our minds, we are convinced we have moved on because we no longer think of the past.We feel we have moved on because we no longer sit down and cry about it.
However, this is a very deadly trap that will always have the past repeating itself. The reality is that, letting go of the past is not just about letting go of the pain and the memories of someone or something. One can completely forget about all these and leave them behind, while having not moved on. The biggest sign for me, was in my failure to appreciate what I currently had in life. As much as I had forgotten about the past and "moved on", there was something that was still wrong with me. When we experience things in our life, they change who we are for better or for worse. When you go through a bad experience, there is a lot that happens to your character and sense of being, which often remains behind long after we have forgotten about the painful experiences. And it is this, that was making me not realise what I had.
Due to past transgressions by others against me, my faith in humanity was very low. And as much as I had moved on, I hadn't fixed the damage that was done. It took me making mistakes and close calls with death, to realise that I needed to reflect on my life and what I had. It was then that I realised that as much as I thought I had moved on, I hadn't fixed the damage done by the past. And this is the one thing haunting many of us today. We try to forget about painful experiences and think we have moved on, while having not fixed the damage done. Some major signs of having not moved on include insecurities, lack of self-esteem/self-worth, settling etc. When you find yourself having "moved on", but without the same lively spirit that you had before, it is a sign that you have forgotten but not moved on.
Take off the memories, pains, damage and experiences you go through. Make sure you undo all the damage. Do not let it change who you are. Take it all off and leave it in the past. Only then will you experience the true freedom of moving on.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Tuesday, 17 September 2019
Wednesday, 14 August 2019
BE KIND AND PRAY TO NOT BE A HASHTAG
Early this morning on my way to work, something happened that made me realise that often times we forget about true happiness and peace. In the quest to reach month end and feel financially secure, we sometimes forget how short life is. We forget that any day we can lose it all.
In South Africa, where crime is out of control, we are constantly reminded that it is all grace that we make it back home each day in one piece. Take time out today to appreciate those you love and those around you. Be kind to everyone, it won't cost you a single cent. In fact it will reward you with peace.
Each and every day when I walk through Johannesburg in the mornings and after work, I always pray that I make it back home unharmed, both emotionally and physically. Back in February, I went through a terrifying experience. Each day I give thanks for the life I have and I remind everyone how much they mean to me, because I have no idea as when I may walk out the door and never walk back.
Each day I pray that I am safe and never become a hashtag. It is sad seeing #JusticeForSuchAndSuch almost every week. I hope to never become a #JusticeForMbueloRamafamba.
Lord help us and keep us safe.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
In South Africa, where crime is out of control, we are constantly reminded that it is all grace that we make it back home each day in one piece. Take time out today to appreciate those you love and those around you. Be kind to everyone, it won't cost you a single cent. In fact it will reward you with peace.
Each and every day when I walk through Johannesburg in the mornings and after work, I always pray that I make it back home unharmed, both emotionally and physically. Back in February, I went through a terrifying experience. Each day I give thanks for the life I have and I remind everyone how much they mean to me, because I have no idea as when I may walk out the door and never walk back.
Each day I pray that I am safe and never become a hashtag. It is sad seeing #JusticeForSuchAndSuch almost every week. I hope to never become a #JusticeForMbueloRamafamba.
Lord help us and keep us safe.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Monday, 29 July 2019
IN THE END YOU GIVE UP
This is the final piece on waiting. It is going to be a bit spiritual. I feel it is important that I share this with my fellow Christian brothers and sisters, however, anyone can learn something out of it.
Romans 12:12 - "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation,be constant in prayer."
Psalm 27:14 - "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
I have taken just these two scriptures amongst many. When we are faced with waiting in life and are impatient, a lot happens to us. We start asking questions and questions lead to doubt. And if we often feel entitled and do not understand that world doesn't owe us anything, we tend to think to ourselves "Why Me?".
Sometimes we pray hard to find answers but when the answers do not come, the "Why Me" becomes "God, Why Me?". We start thinking that God is not fair. We start looking for reasons to justify our views on why God is unfair. And in the end, we end up doubting the existence of God. Many walk away from the church/ places of worship because "God didn't answer their prayer, so why bother..".
I am here to tell you, do not give up. Often times we give up right when the answer is around the corner. See waiting as something that is meant to build you and your character instead of something bad. You can see the glass as half empty or as half full. The choice is yours.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
NEW CHANGES
Greetings to all my readers. I have a small announcement to make. There will be a change to the update schedule. I will no longer be posting on specified days (Mon, Wed & Fri). I will now be posting any day. This is because I have to find time in between my day job to post and having specific days for posting is not really a good idea anymore since I may be swamped with work on some of those days. So I will try to be flexible in order for me to keep delivering content for all my readers.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Monday, 22 July 2019
TAKE RESPONSIBILTY
I will still be continuing on waiting even today, however, this might be the last post on waiting. It is more focused on the feelings we go through when waiting.
The human mind is not good at handling stressful situations. Desperation can drive each human crazy in the quest to find the root cause or a solution of the current state of affairs. It is also human nature to not want to be wrong. This is very evident when one becomes impatient because things aren't happening the way they thought they would.
The first defense is always to find something or someone to blame. It often becomes a habit wherein one will never want to face anything head on but instead choose to blame everyone around them. This does not help in anyway, besides making the waiting much longer because life works that way; if you do not own up to your mistakes, it will be very hard on you.
At first people may put up to it, but eventually everyone gets tired. In the end, everyone decides they have had enough. It is in that moment where many implode because they are now forced to face everything without anyone around to blame. They had the chance to take responsibility for their actions while people were there to support them, but they chose to instead blame the very same support structure. And when everyone is gone, life starts to be very unpleasant. Life always works like this. It will always force one to face their fault head on at one point. No matter how much you try to run away, you can never run away from it. While you wait, it is best to take responsibility and start fixing yourself because a time will come when you will have to face it all alone.
Stand up, admit your wrong, take responsibility and change your ways. Otherwise life will force you to in a very unpleasant way. You can only point a finger for as long as there's someone or something to point it to. But one day, the finger pointing will be of no use. Take responsibility now.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
The human mind is not good at handling stressful situations. Desperation can drive each human crazy in the quest to find the root cause or a solution of the current state of affairs. It is also human nature to not want to be wrong. This is very evident when one becomes impatient because things aren't happening the way they thought they would.
The first defense is always to find something or someone to blame. It often becomes a habit wherein one will never want to face anything head on but instead choose to blame everyone around them. This does not help in anyway, besides making the waiting much longer because life works that way; if you do not own up to your mistakes, it will be very hard on you.
At first people may put up to it, but eventually everyone gets tired. In the end, everyone decides they have had enough. It is in that moment where many implode because they are now forced to face everything without anyone around to blame. They had the chance to take responsibility for their actions while people were there to support them, but they chose to instead blame the very same support structure. And when everyone is gone, life starts to be very unpleasant. Life always works like this. It will always force one to face their fault head on at one point. No matter how much you try to run away, you can never run away from it. While you wait, it is best to take responsibility and start fixing yourself because a time will come when you will have to face it all alone.
Stand up, admit your wrong, take responsibility and change your ways. Otherwise life will force you to in a very unpleasant way. You can only point a finger for as long as there's someone or something to point it to. But one day, the finger pointing will be of no use. Take responsibility now.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Friday, 19 July 2019
YOU ARE NOT OWED
Today's theme is still on waiting. Last time I did write that there was a lot to write about with regards to waiting. And I ended Wednesday's by telling you to be ready. Today I want to venture a bit more into readiness for what you are waiting for.
Life is not a fairy-tale and I believe most, if not all, of you know that. one doesn't just wish things to reality or throw a coin in a wishing well. Life will not always do what you want. And while you are waiting, it will often feel like life is completely against you. But life doesn't do what you wish for it to do. It usually reacts to what you do.
Complaining is the one thing that will make your waiting a bad experience. Unfortunately it is human nature to complain when things aren't happening our way. However, shift your attitude from on of feeling that life might have 'beef' against you, or someone else might and starting understanding +85% of the work is all you. Whether you blame someone or not, it won't change that fact. You have to own the moment and own your attitude.
Do not waste time feeling sorry and worrying about why it is taking so long. Take that time focusing on building yourself and growing as an individual. When the waiting gives you 99 reason why it is "unfair", "you are cursed", or any other reason why you should give up, give yourself 1 reason to hold on and wait patiently. Stick to the one reason. And when the wait is finally over, you will appreciate what you have been waiting for.
Remember, the world owes you nothing. You can cry and blame everyone for all you like, but at the end of the day you will have to face the music alone. At night when you are sleeping, you will wish you could turn back time and go back to that one moment and be patient. Your impatience today will come back to haunt you tomorrow, and it will have you waiting a whole lot longer than you would've waited now.
Learn to wait. The world owes you nothing.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Life is not a fairy-tale and I believe most, if not all, of you know that. one doesn't just wish things to reality or throw a coin in a wishing well. Life will not always do what you want. And while you are waiting, it will often feel like life is completely against you. But life doesn't do what you wish for it to do. It usually reacts to what you do.
Complaining is the one thing that will make your waiting a bad experience. Unfortunately it is human nature to complain when things aren't happening our way. However, shift your attitude from on of feeling that life might have 'beef' against you, or someone else might and starting understanding +85% of the work is all you. Whether you blame someone or not, it won't change that fact. You have to own the moment and own your attitude.
Do not waste time feeling sorry and worrying about why it is taking so long. Take that time focusing on building yourself and growing as an individual. When the waiting gives you 99 reason why it is "unfair", "you are cursed", or any other reason why you should give up, give yourself 1 reason to hold on and wait patiently. Stick to the one reason. And when the wait is finally over, you will appreciate what you have been waiting for.
Remember, the world owes you nothing. You can cry and blame everyone for all you like, but at the end of the day you will have to face the music alone. At night when you are sleeping, you will wish you could turn back time and go back to that one moment and be patient. Your impatience today will come back to haunt you tomorrow, and it will have you waiting a whole lot longer than you would've waited now.
Learn to wait. The world owes you nothing.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
Wednesday, 17 July 2019
YOU'VE GOT TO BURN
Today I will be carrying on with the theme on waiting. I feel there's a lot to say about the experience of waiting which I unfortunately cannot fit into one post. So please bare with me.
The one thing that is common in everyone who is waiting is need. We wait because we need something. I am not referring to waiting for a person, though you can wait for a person whom you need.I am referring to waiting for something to happen that you feel will better your life. There's always a burning desire/need that fuels the waiting. Either you are waiting for a job, a start-up funder etc, the reality is there is a need behind all the waiting.
How deep the desire is, will influence the emotions you go through while you wait. If you are in deep need, it will always feel like a lifetime. But one thing you have to understand is that, if you really need something and you value it that much, then you will have to burn for it. There's no other way besides burning. You have to burn and burn you shall.
The mistake many make is decide to try something else and forget about what they have been waiting for, because they can't take the heat of waiting. If it is really worth much for you, you will burn for it. You sit in that furnace and wait patiently. I too have been in situations wherein quitting felt like a better option. It seemed like things were falling apart. But sometimes things have to fall apart for you to appreciate what is to come. If you didn't have to wait and burn, you wouldn't value it.
It doesn't end in waiting though. You have to be a visionary while you wait. Envision the wait coming to an end. What will you need to better take advantage of whatever you are waiting for. In what circumstances must you be in? Just as a fighter trains hard for a big fighter, you too need to ready yourself for what you are waiting for. Otherwise you will squander it. Sometimes it won't arrive until you have prepared yourself enough. You need to need to be prepared for it.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
The one thing that is common in everyone who is waiting is need. We wait because we need something. I am not referring to waiting for a person, though you can wait for a person whom you need.I am referring to waiting for something to happen that you feel will better your life. There's always a burning desire/need that fuels the waiting. Either you are waiting for a job, a start-up funder etc, the reality is there is a need behind all the waiting.
How deep the desire is, will influence the emotions you go through while you wait. If you are in deep need, it will always feel like a lifetime. But one thing you have to understand is that, if you really need something and you value it that much, then you will have to burn for it. There's no other way besides burning. You have to burn and burn you shall.
The mistake many make is decide to try something else and forget about what they have been waiting for, because they can't take the heat of waiting. If it is really worth much for you, you will burn for it. You sit in that furnace and wait patiently. I too have been in situations wherein quitting felt like a better option. It seemed like things were falling apart. But sometimes things have to fall apart for you to appreciate what is to come. If you didn't have to wait and burn, you wouldn't value it.
It doesn't end in waiting though. You have to be a visionary while you wait. Envision the wait coming to an end. What will you need to better take advantage of whatever you are waiting for. In what circumstances must you be in? Just as a fighter trains hard for a big fighter, you too need to ready yourself for what you are waiting for. Otherwise you will squander it. Sometimes it won't arrive until you have prepared yourself enough. You need to need to be prepared for it.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
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