Many of you will probably hate me after this, and for that, I apologise. However, it is necessary for me to write this as per my observations. My aim is to help and not hurt, but the truth does hurt in the end. I'd rather hurt you with truth than make you smile with lies.
We have all been hurt or experienced pain one way or another in this life. The cause might have been many things ranging from violence to rejection. No one is absolved. It is part of this life. There is always going to be some sort of pain or loss.Some get over it pretty quick and some do not. It all depends also on the degree of hurt we've suffered. Some people taking longer and need counseling to get over it, while some just enjoy being sorrowful and having everyone feel sorry for themselves. The latter is often true when it comes to failed relationships.
The problem is as human beings we are proud creatures. Pride is one thing that worsens it for us. We think we are too special and shouldn't have to go through such. We are often egocentric in nature and feel we can do as we please with no repercussions, yet we have a problem when others do the same towards us. This combined with hurt and pain, often turns to bitterness and hate towards others. Sometimes we do not want to admit that we are just being bitter, and blame it on 'I've been hurt'.
The bitterness boils so much that it ends in negative and judgmental statement all the time. You get parents tell their children not to get married because their marriage failed. They do not want to accept that it is their marriage that failed, and thus blame it on everything they can find as long as it's not them. You get youth busy influencing their friends to be promiscuous because their relationship failed and they've concluded that everyone is the same.
But there are other serious cases which arise from bitterness. Sometimes people try to destroy other because of the bitterness. When everyone is being positive, they always have to find something negative about the person. Their aim is to destroy the person but they do not realise that they are attracting negative energy towards themselves. They are constantly surrounding themselves with negative thought and actions. They are out to destroy and will stop at nothing. They may spread rumors, bash others with words or try to sabotage the other person systematically. But because they are always looking out for a negative thing to use to destroy someone, they do not see that they are attracting more negativity towards themselves, than they are dishing out to others. In the end they get addicted to the negativity and always want to be 'hurt' in order to justify their bitterness.
And if they fail, they resort to pity parties. They strive on attention and use it to reassert their bitterness and negativity. This usually happens when they have tried all their best to destroy others and have failed. They do not want to admit that they have failed, so they'd rather be the victim. This way they can paint the other person as the villain, since they are the victim. They gather people who will reassert and validate them as a victim. And the more they carry on, the deeper they go in it. Negativity is like sink sand. It strives on bitterness, hate, envy, jealousy and a victim mentality.
The truth is if everyone was to be bitter about things you did to them, you'd have more people trying to destroy you than the ones you are trying to destroy. You'd have more people with a lot of negative things to say about you than you can say about others. Get off that high horse and start being positive about life. You bitterness is sinking you in a lot of negativity that will push everyone away and destroy you in the end. You unjustified bursts of anger towards those who love you and care about you, in the name of 'I am a hurt victim' will push them away. Stop trying to destroy or bring down others because there are other people out there whom you've hurt also. Pain is not pain only when it's felt by you. Pain is pain even when you are the one causing it.
Get rid of the negativity and you will see your life turn around. Get rid of the bitterness and you will see you heart heal. Forget the pity parties and bitterness trains that you enjoy with bitter people like you, and focus more on the positive side of life. Work hard and conquer the pain instead of working hard at victimising and destroying yourself. Stop going nowhere in reverse at top speed, and start doing something positive with your. You will not get anything out of destroying the other person. You will just want to destroy more people once you are done and will only create more enemies, and probably one who is more bitter than you who will destroy you.
Forgive others if you want to be forgiven.
WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba
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