LISTEN

Whoever said listening was skill knew exactly what they were talking about. It one skill that many do not have. It is a skill many are not aware or will not admit that they do not have. And it is one skill that can not be taught by someone else. It is self taught.

It's evident in our everyday life how much people never want to listen. Everybody only wants to be heard, but never wants to listen. We have so many differences today because people just don't want to listen. Everyone is imposing their view on others because they do not want to listen. Without listening you can never understand, and thus you can never assist. People go out creating all sorts of groups but never stop to listen.

Families are getting divided because nobody wants to listen. Everyone is shouting at the top of their lungs trying to be heard but they don't want to listen. Even if given a chance to speak, they still never listen. Most people just want to be heard, but never want to listen. One reason some people don't want to listen is because they do not want to face their reality. They do not want to be told the truth. So they choose to shout and shout, and cry victim when no one wants to listen to them anymore because they do give a chance to others to speak. And then everything goes south after that, because both sides will now want to be heard.

It has become like a disease that is destroying our world. People now have to take to the street and shout there, but sometimes nobody even bothers to listen. Even the people on the streets sometimes never listen. Listening is the only way to resolve matters and reach a win win situation. But we barely get that because people haven't been listening for so long that they have become selfish. Everyone believes they are right and their ways are perfect, and the other is wrong. And whoever disagrees is an oppressor. It has become a matter of  'Who can shout the loudest' instead of 'Who is right'. People follow the loudest because they do not want to listen. They want the noise, but do not want to listen. Logic and reason get thrown out many times because people do not want to listen.

I challenge you to start listening. Be calm, observe the silence and listen. Because in our lack of listening skill, we have brewed a disaster. We've become so bad at listening that we never stop to listen to ourselves.

Stop, be calm and listen.

WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba

HEAL YOURSELF

The trials of life never end. Day by day we are being tried. There is always something that might break us or make us. Sometimes we break, sometimes we pretend not to break. And then there are those times where we remain unshaken. Our tolerance may be different, but one thing for sure; life will find a way to break you. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with life breaking you. But there it wrong for you to say broken. A broken heart will take you to your grave very early.

I too have had my moments with life. There were times when it broke me and I thought I could never come back. I had given in completely. It never got better. It became even worse when I gave up. I needed a solution, but I was looking for it at the wrong places. I was trying to understand why such misfortune had chosen me.Why did I have to be heartbroken. I had many other questions, all which sought an answer from the without.

But starting from within is the right way to approach it. Find the part that's sore the most, and ask yourself how you could heal it. Sometimes, the medicine we seek is us. We often neglect ourselves and give away all the love. We go all out to love others and give very little love to ourselves. We take our bricks and use them to build others. And when rain comes, we wonder why we have no shelter. And what we often fail to understand is that, by loving ourselves, we learn how to truly love. We learn how to treat others better by treating ourselves better. What we want for ourselves is what we will want for others. By loving ourselves, we make it easier and better for us to love others. We find happiness within us.

Not only do we find happiness, but we also become our own bestfriend. And we get to know ourselves so well that when something is not right we quickly pick it up. This helps avoid disasters caused by issues piling up unattended. We become much easier to live with and to love and be loved. We also learn to heal ourselves without much external forces. By healing ourselves, we become independent, and are less likely to seek validation outside of our being.

Love yourself. Heal yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be your bestfriend.

WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba

WE ARE WHAT ARE BECAUSE IT'S WHO WE ARE

I was having a conversation with a friend I recently made. We were going on about life and what it's like to grow up, to love, to be kind and to be selfless. She is very selfless and kind. I too naturally tend to be very selfless and kind to others. I go out of my way to help others. However, I am not going to be writing much about the good things I do but rather addressing a common misconception.

When people are kind and selfless, sometimes it doesn't rub off well with some people. It might be envy or it might be outright hate, but you get people who criticise someone for being kind and selfless. They may even spread rumours to try and tarnish the name of the person. It's like they are in competition with the person yet do the complete opposite of what the person does. They want to be seen and given attention, but do not want to be kind to others. They want people to call them good, but go about with a self centered and selfish attitude. In the end, they end up saying the person is pretending, or the person wants to be loved. But what they do not realise, is that they are merely stating who they are. But sometimes, the good people get affected by this and may lose that magic of kindness, love and selflessness. The reason I am writing this is to encourage and remind them that they are who they are because it is who they are, and they are not pretending or trying to be loved.

Good people do what they do because it is who they are. They do it without expecting anything in return. The do a lot, and will never go back to remind the person they have helped. Sometimes the person they have helped may become too proud, but they still remain humble and never remind the person. They give people more chances than they deserve. Even if people do not notice their efforts, they do not notice it because they are not doing it to be noticed. Had they been doing it to be noticed, they'd have given up already because they barely ever get noticed for who they are. They are like the elephant in the room that nobody notices. And they keep doing what they do.

However, they are still human. If they endure too much abuse, they get to a point where they are fed up. They usually never say it, but rather cut off the person. And it hurts them to cut off a person, but to protect their sanity and to carry on doing the good work, they need to cut off bad energy. It is not that they bad or hold grudges. They just know what they carry and do not want anything to hold them back. It is okay to cut off the bad ones.  But always remember, they do not want to be loved, or given attention. It is simply who they are. However, appreciating them really encourages them to self sacrifice in quest of a better world.

WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba

PAUSE

This week has gone by fast. I too was moving as fast as it was. Maybe a little bit too fast. But today it dawned on me that I needed to pause a bit. It is not wrong or bad to pause. It is needed, and often new ideas are born during or after the pause.

When you pause, you detach a bit and watch everything from the background. It is during that time that you see everything. You understand how the environment around you works together and each piece is needed for the greater functionality of the universe. You also get to see which parts around you need more attention and work than others. Without a pause you will never see these minor bits which may mess up the functionality of everything around you. It takes a brick to bring down a whole castle.

Every now and then, take a small pause. Detach from all the noise and clear your thoughts. With a clear mind you can easily come up with newer ideas on how to get things working better. During a moment of pause, you get to see everything as a mind map. You see how they are all connected, and how you could reconfigure everything for efficiency. The better efficiency you have, the less work you do and get to rest. A well-rested body function far better than one that has not rested. So, you can see how a pause, opens everything. It’s more like when you pause a movie; you get to see each detail of the scene which you might have missed had you not paused. It’s exactly like that even in real life.

Remember to pause and look at things from a little distance whenever it seems like things are working so well.

WITH LOVE…

Mbuelo Ramafamba

LETTING GO JUST LIKE A BALLOON

If you tied a rope or chain around a tree, the tree will eventually swallow it and become one with it. Sometimes the tree may experience some deformities. And depending on where the chain or rope is tied around, the tree may even die off or lose its branch. Why am I saying this you ask? I shall answer you shortly.

In life, we go through many things and experience a lot of problems which may depress us. Some of them may be external ones brought by other people, or just occurring naturally. Just like a tree, these problems wrap around us. As time goes, they may start to choke us and threaten our sanity. Sometimes we get used to it that we end up saying “I am used to it” or “I’ve been here before”. We do not realise that all that’s needed is to untie it and let it go.

Instead of dying, I’d like to challenge you to start letting go of things. Sometimes you can’t let go because you haven’t forgiven yourself. Forgive yourself first before forgiving anyone and see how much weight you put down. Forgiving yourself is to begin to untie the knot. Once the knot is untied, the rest falls away.

When you start with yourself, everything becomes like a balloon. Let go like a balloon. Let go of all your problems and watch them fly away. The thing that was holding them to you was the rope around you. Once you let it go, the balloons are no longer tied to you. Each problem is like a small balloon tied to that rope that’s choking you. You get distracted as they pile up because there are just too many balloons around you with many colours. You can’t pop them, because the noise will be too much, and it will bring too much attention. Simply untie the rope around you and the whole bunch will be gone.

Forgive yourself to forgive others. Untie the rope, and let it all go.

WITH LOVE…

Mbuelo Ramafamba

SPREAD LIKE WILD FIRE

Fire is a beautiful thing, yet deadly and dangerous. Just as too much of something isn't good, too much of fire isn't good either. But worry not, we are not about to start any real fires. Today's fire is a kind of fire that doesn't have "too much" of it. The more of it the better. It works best when you let it burn and engulf everyone around you.

We live in a sad world with sad people and often the energy is low around us. There's just so much going on that people have become detached from themselves. I am not judging anyone in anyway whatsoever by writing this. My aim is to spark a fire that will burn wildly.

There are things in this life that we need not buy nor have a lot of money to attain. These things are free from everyone and do not depend on any external factors. Happiness is one of those. It is a very powerful force that will give you complete control and power over your life. You do not need anyone or anything to be happy. Although it sometimes takes some practice to master being happy, it all begins with a smile.

You will be surprised at how much a simple smile can achieve. It starts with you smiling at someone and them smiling back at you, and the next thing you will feel this energy get invoked. That is the happiness lying dormant inside of you being awakened by simply smiling. Now to be happy, you need to smile daily to as many people as possible. By smiling, you naturally become nice and kind. It's almost impossible to be rude or bad towards someone when you are smiling. Smiling also gives you so much peace as well. The more people you smile at, the more people smile back at you, and the happier you become. The first smile is like a spark. The more you smile, the more you let the fire burn wild. Spread smiles like a wildfire and see how much happier you become.

In the end, you will have productive and focused days because you will be much happier. You mind gets defogged by the happiness and you tend to achieve much more by simply being happy. I must warn you though, that your days will feel a lot shorter because you will be enjoying every second of it and getting a lot of work done.

It doesn't take much to smile. Go out and smile. Spread like wild fire.

WITH LOVE..
Mbuelo Ramafamba

JUMP

Life will always have a way of throwing us into situations that will make us experience all sorts of feelings. But one actually stood out for me today after witnessing a minor accident while on my way to work. No one was hurt in the accident, but the accident got me thinking of how it might have been to be in that vehicle. Fear got hold of me instantly, thinking of the fact that I was also in transit. And as always, it got me reflecting on how much fear often hinders us from achieving a lot of things.

So many of us abandon many mission because of fear. But fear is a double-edged sword. It can either make you or break you. For those who give in, it breaks them. For those who find adventure in it, it makes them. But there's only 2 ways to it. BREAK OR MAKE. But how do you tackle fear and come out victorious all the time? Well, let me sum it up in a short poem that I wrote for myself:

Take a step back son

Open your eyes wide

Take in the view

And scale it.

It can't be that big right?

Or maybe it is.

Not a lot has caved in

Sure it's not a crack

But it can't be that big.

Either way you can't go back

And there's no way it can be fixed.

You've come far

You've seen worse

You have no choice

Backward and forward are all the same

Will you stay in one place?

Sit down and tremble like a small boy?

Or will you move to another place?

The bridge has caved in both sides

Scale it hard kid

Prepare yourself

Close your eyes

And jump

Or stay and starve.

But always remember

Do not open your eyes

Until your feet touch the other side.

WITH LOVE...

Mbuelo Ramafamba