WE ARE WHAT ARE BECAUSE IT'S WHO WE ARE

I was having a conversation with a friend I recently made. We were going on about life and what it's like to grow up, to love, to be kind and to be selfless. She is very selfless and kind. I too naturally tend to be very selfless and kind to others. I go out of my way to help others. However, I am not going to be writing much about the good things I do but rather addressing a common misconception.

When people are kind and selfless, sometimes it doesn't rub off well with some people. It might be envy or it might be outright hate, but you get people who criticise someone for being kind and selfless. They may even spread rumours to try and tarnish the name of the person. It's like they are in competition with the person yet do the complete opposite of what the person does. They want to be seen and given attention, but do not want to be kind to others. They want people to call them good, but go about with a self centered and selfish attitude. In the end, they end up saying the person is pretending, or the person wants to be loved. But what they do not realise, is that they are merely stating who they are. But sometimes, the good people get affected by this and may lose that magic of kindness, love and selflessness. The reason I am writing this is to encourage and remind them that they are who they are because it is who they are, and they are not pretending or trying to be loved.

Good people do what they do because it is who they are. They do it without expecting anything in return. The do a lot, and will never go back to remind the person they have helped. Sometimes the person they have helped may become too proud, but they still remain humble and never remind the person. They give people more chances than they deserve. Even if people do not notice their efforts, they do not notice it because they are not doing it to be noticed. Had they been doing it to be noticed, they'd have given up already because they barely ever get noticed for who they are. They are like the elephant in the room that nobody notices. And they keep doing what they do.

However, they are still human. If they endure too much abuse, they get to a point where they are fed up. They usually never say it, but rather cut off the person. And it hurts them to cut off a person, but to protect their sanity and to carry on doing the good work, they need to cut off bad energy. It is not that they bad or hold grudges. They just know what they carry and do not want anything to hold them back. It is okay to cut off the bad ones.  But always remember, they do not want to be loved, or given attention. It is simply who they are. However, appreciating them really encourages them to self sacrifice in quest of a better world.

WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba

PAUSE

This week has gone by fast. I too was moving as fast as it was. Maybe a little bit too fast. But today it dawned on me that I needed to pause a bit. It is not wrong or bad to pause. It is needed, and often new ideas are born during or after the pause.

When you pause, you detach a bit and watch everything from the background. It is during that time that you see everything. You understand how the environment around you works together and each piece is needed for the greater functionality of the universe. You also get to see which parts around you need more attention and work than others. Without a pause you will never see these minor bits which may mess up the functionality of everything around you. It takes a brick to bring down a whole castle.

Every now and then, take a small pause. Detach from all the noise and clear your thoughts. With a clear mind you can easily come up with newer ideas on how to get things working better. During a moment of pause, you get to see everything as a mind map. You see how they are all connected, and how you could reconfigure everything for efficiency. The better efficiency you have, the less work you do and get to rest. A well-rested body function far better than one that has not rested. So, you can see how a pause, opens everything. It’s more like when you pause a movie; you get to see each detail of the scene which you might have missed had you not paused. It’s exactly like that even in real life.

Remember to pause and look at things from a little distance whenever it seems like things are working so well.

WITH LOVE…

Mbuelo Ramafamba

SPREAD LIKE WILD FIRE

Fire is a beautiful thing, yet deadly and dangerous. Just as too much of something isn't good, too much of fire isn't good either. But worry not, we are not about to start any real fires. Today's fire is a kind of fire that doesn't have "too much" of it. The more of it the better. It works best when you let it burn and engulf everyone around you.

We live in a sad world with sad people and often the energy is low around us. There's just so much going on that people have become detached from themselves. I am not judging anyone in anyway whatsoever by writing this. My aim is to spark a fire that will burn wildly.

There are things in this life that we need not buy nor have a lot of money to attain. These things are free from everyone and do not depend on any external factors. Happiness is one of those. It is a very powerful force that will give you complete control and power over your life. You do not need anyone or anything to be happy. Although it sometimes takes some practice to master being happy, it all begins with a smile.

You will be surprised at how much a simple smile can achieve. It starts with you smiling at someone and them smiling back at you, and the next thing you will feel this energy get invoked. That is the happiness lying dormant inside of you being awakened by simply smiling. Now to be happy, you need to smile daily to as many people as possible. By smiling, you naturally become nice and kind. It's almost impossible to be rude or bad towards someone when you are smiling. Smiling also gives you so much peace as well. The more people you smile at, the more people smile back at you, and the happier you become. The first smile is like a spark. The more you smile, the more you let the fire burn wild. Spread smiles like a wildfire and see how much happier you become.

In the end, you will have productive and focused days because you will be much happier. You mind gets defogged by the happiness and you tend to achieve much more by simply being happy. I must warn you though, that your days will feel a lot shorter because you will be enjoying every second of it and getting a lot of work done.

It doesn't take much to smile. Go out and smile. Spread like wild fire.

WITH LOVE..
Mbuelo Ramafamba

PRICE YOURSELF RIGHT

Guilt is a very complicated feeling, which is bound to return if a lesson is not learned. I too am writing this having been inspired by guilt. I wasn't aware of it until someone mentioned it at just the right time while doing a future career path analysis with me in an interview. 

I was sitting in an interview not so long ago, and one statement really hit hard and brought out a lot of guilt which made me realise all along I had been doing things wrong. "You are selling yourself short in your CV and it is very bad". That statement got me thinking and made me realise that it's not only in the CV but in everyday life. And it is not just me alone, but a lot of people out there, some of whom I know personally. We often make this mistake because we are trying to be humble. Sometimes we sincerely think that's what we are worth, but we end up being insincere. The outcome is usually that we lose opportunities. 

I wasn't going to write this, but I've realised a lot of us youth do not take such a matter seriously. We overprice ourselves on social media but when it comes to real matter we are way below market value. We focus our energy in the wrong places and wonder why we see no fruits for our actions. If we could focus the same energy we put on social media, to make ourselves attractive to business and career opportunities, we would see exponential growth in both learning and finances. On social media we never leave out the details. We make sure they know everything. But on real matters we often leave out a lot. A lot of courses, certificates, related hobbies, achievements, unique features, competitive attributes etc, are all left out. The reality is the people that can help us in those areas aren't supposed to figure it out, we are supposed to tell them. Their work is only to verify. So, if really you have something there is no need to leave it out in the details, no matter how small it might be.

However, do not lie when pricing yourself or make promises you know you can't keep or come close to achieving. This is the other reason why we sometimes undersell ourselves; we are trying not to overprice things. But to say do not overprice yourself doesn't mean you should under-price yourself. Find your right price. Sometimes it takes asking those around you to review your strength and reflecting on those answer, then sifting through it until you build a strong and solid basis. It's not going to be done overnight, but whatever effort you put into establishing your right price will determine the results. 

Go out and price yourself right.

WITH LOVE...

Mbuelo Ramafamba