WE ARE WHAT ARE BECAUSE IT'S WHO WE ARE

I was having a conversation with a friend I recently made. We were going on about life and what it's like to grow up, to love, to be kind and to be selfless. She is very selfless and kind. I too naturally tend to be very selfless and kind to others. I go out of my way to help others. However, I am not going to be writing much about the good things I do but rather addressing a common misconception.

When people are kind and selfless, sometimes it doesn't rub off well with some people. It might be envy or it might be outright hate, but you get people who criticise someone for being kind and selfless. They may even spread rumours to try and tarnish the name of the person. It's like they are in competition with the person yet do the complete opposite of what the person does. They want to be seen and given attention, but do not want to be kind to others. They want people to call them good, but go about with a self centered and selfish attitude. In the end, they end up saying the person is pretending, or the person wants to be loved. But what they do not realise, is that they are merely stating who they are. But sometimes, the good people get affected by this and may lose that magic of kindness, love and selflessness. The reason I am writing this is to encourage and remind them that they are who they are because it is who they are, and they are not pretending or trying to be loved.

Good people do what they do because it is who they are. They do it without expecting anything in return. The do a lot, and will never go back to remind the person they have helped. Sometimes the person they have helped may become too proud, but they still remain humble and never remind the person. They give people more chances than they deserve. Even if people do not notice their efforts, they do not notice it because they are not doing it to be noticed. Had they been doing it to be noticed, they'd have given up already because they barely ever get noticed for who they are. They are like the elephant in the room that nobody notices. And they keep doing what they do.

However, they are still human. If they endure too much abuse, they get to a point where they are fed up. They usually never say it, but rather cut off the person. And it hurts them to cut off a person, but to protect their sanity and to carry on doing the good work, they need to cut off bad energy. It is not that they bad or hold grudges. They just know what they carry and do not want anything to hold them back. It is okay to cut off the bad ones.  But always remember, they do not want to be loved, or given attention. It is simply who they are. However, appreciating them really encourages them to self sacrifice in quest of a better world.

WITH LOVE...
Mbuelo Ramafamba

PAUSE

This week has gone by fast. I too was moving as fast as it was. Maybe a little bit too fast. But today it dawned on me that I needed to pause a bit. It is not wrong or bad to pause. It is needed, and often new ideas are born during or after the pause.

When you pause, you detach a bit and watch everything from the background. It is during that time that you see everything. You understand how the environment around you works together and each piece is needed for the greater functionality of the universe. You also get to see which parts around you need more attention and work than others. Without a pause you will never see these minor bits which may mess up the functionality of everything around you. It takes a brick to bring down a whole castle.

Every now and then, take a small pause. Detach from all the noise and clear your thoughts. With a clear mind you can easily come up with newer ideas on how to get things working better. During a moment of pause, you get to see everything as a mind map. You see how they are all connected, and how you could reconfigure everything for efficiency. The better efficiency you have, the less work you do and get to rest. A well-rested body function far better than one that has not rested. So, you can see how a pause, opens everything. It’s more like when you pause a movie; you get to see each detail of the scene which you might have missed had you not paused. It’s exactly like that even in real life.

Remember to pause and look at things from a little distance whenever it seems like things are working so well.

WITH LOVE…

Mbuelo Ramafamba

LETTING GO JUST LIKE A BALLOON

If you tied a rope or chain around a tree, the tree will eventually swallow it and become one with it. Sometimes the tree may experience some deformities. And depending on where the chain or rope is tied around, the tree may even die off or lose its branch. Why am I saying this you ask? I shall answer you shortly.

In life, we go through many things and experience a lot of problems which may depress us. Some of them may be external ones brought by other people, or just occurring naturally. Just like a tree, these problems wrap around us. As time goes, they may start to choke us and threaten our sanity. Sometimes we get used to it that we end up saying “I am used to it” or “I’ve been here before”. We do not realise that all that’s needed is to untie it and let it go.

Instead of dying, I’d like to challenge you to start letting go of things. Sometimes you can’t let go because you haven’t forgiven yourself. Forgive yourself first before forgiving anyone and see how much weight you put down. Forgiving yourself is to begin to untie the knot. Once the knot is untied, the rest falls away.

When you start with yourself, everything becomes like a balloon. Let go like a balloon. Let go of all your problems and watch them fly away. The thing that was holding them to you was the rope around you. Once you let it go, the balloons are no longer tied to you. Each problem is like a small balloon tied to that rope that’s choking you. You get distracted as they pile up because there are just too many balloons around you with many colours. You can’t pop them, because the noise will be too much, and it will bring too much attention. Simply untie the rope around you and the whole bunch will be gone.

Forgive yourself to forgive others. Untie the rope, and let it all go.

WITH LOVE…

Mbuelo Ramafamba

SPREAD LIKE WILD FIRE

Fire is a beautiful thing, yet deadly and dangerous. Just as too much of something isn't good, too much of fire isn't good either. But worry not, we are not about to start any real fires. Today's fire is a kind of fire that doesn't have "too much" of it. The more of it the better. It works best when you let it burn and engulf everyone around you.

We live in a sad world with sad people and often the energy is low around us. There's just so much going on that people have become detached from themselves. I am not judging anyone in anyway whatsoever by writing this. My aim is to spark a fire that will burn wildly.

There are things in this life that we need not buy nor have a lot of money to attain. These things are free from everyone and do not depend on any external factors. Happiness is one of those. It is a very powerful force that will give you complete control and power over your life. You do not need anyone or anything to be happy. Although it sometimes takes some practice to master being happy, it all begins with a smile.

You will be surprised at how much a simple smile can achieve. It starts with you smiling at someone and them smiling back at you, and the next thing you will feel this energy get invoked. That is the happiness lying dormant inside of you being awakened by simply smiling. Now to be happy, you need to smile daily to as many people as possible. By smiling, you naturally become nice and kind. It's almost impossible to be rude or bad towards someone when you are smiling. Smiling also gives you so much peace as well. The more people you smile at, the more people smile back at you, and the happier you become. The first smile is like a spark. The more you smile, the more you let the fire burn wild. Spread smiles like a wildfire and see how much happier you become.

In the end, you will have productive and focused days because you will be much happier. You mind gets defogged by the happiness and you tend to achieve much more by simply being happy. I must warn you though, that your days will feel a lot shorter because you will be enjoying every second of it and getting a lot of work done.

It doesn't take much to smile. Go out and smile. Spread like wild fire.

WITH LOVE..
Mbuelo Ramafamba

JUMP

Life will always have a way of throwing us into situations that will make us experience all sorts of feelings. But one actually stood out for me today after witnessing a minor accident while on my way to work. No one was hurt in the accident, but the accident got me thinking of how it might have been to be in that vehicle. Fear got hold of me instantly, thinking of the fact that I was also in transit. And as always, it got me reflecting on how much fear often hinders us from achieving a lot of things.

So many of us abandon many mission because of fear. But fear is a double-edged sword. It can either make you or break you. For those who give in, it breaks them. For those who find adventure in it, it makes them. But there's only 2 ways to it. BREAK OR MAKE. But how do you tackle fear and come out victorious all the time? Well, let me sum it up in a short poem that I wrote for myself:

Take a step back son

Open your eyes wide

Take in the view

And scale it.

It can't be that big right?

Or maybe it is.

Not a lot has caved in

Sure it's not a crack

But it can't be that big.

Either way you can't go back

And there's no way it can be fixed.

You've come far

You've seen worse

You have no choice

Backward and forward are all the same

Will you stay in one place?

Sit down and tremble like a small boy?

Or will you move to another place?

The bridge has caved in both sides

Scale it hard kid

Prepare yourself

Close your eyes

And jump

Or stay and starve.

But always remember

Do not open your eyes

Until your feet touch the other side.

WITH LOVE...

Mbuelo Ramafamba

PRICE YOURSELF RIGHT

Guilt is a very complicated feeling, which is bound to return if a lesson is not learned. I too am writing this having been inspired by guilt. I wasn't aware of it until someone mentioned it at just the right time while doing a future career path analysis with me in an interview. 

I was sitting in an interview not so long ago, and one statement really hit hard and brought out a lot of guilt which made me realise all along I had been doing things wrong. "You are selling yourself short in your CV and it is very bad". That statement got me thinking and made me realise that it's not only in the CV but in everyday life. And it is not just me alone, but a lot of people out there, some of whom I know personally. We often make this mistake because we are trying to be humble. Sometimes we sincerely think that's what we are worth, but we end up being insincere. The outcome is usually that we lose opportunities. 

I wasn't going to write this, but I've realised a lot of us youth do not take such a matter seriously. We overprice ourselves on social media but when it comes to real matter we are way below market value. We focus our energy in the wrong places and wonder why we see no fruits for our actions. If we could focus the same energy we put on social media, to make ourselves attractive to business and career opportunities, we would see exponential growth in both learning and finances. On social media we never leave out the details. We make sure they know everything. But on real matters we often leave out a lot. A lot of courses, certificates, related hobbies, achievements, unique features, competitive attributes etc, are all left out. The reality is the people that can help us in those areas aren't supposed to figure it out, we are supposed to tell them. Their work is only to verify. So, if really you have something there is no need to leave it out in the details, no matter how small it might be.

However, do not lie when pricing yourself or make promises you know you can't keep or come close to achieving. This is the other reason why we sometimes undersell ourselves; we are trying not to overprice things. But to say do not overprice yourself doesn't mean you should under-price yourself. Find your right price. Sometimes it takes asking those around you to review your strength and reflecting on those answer, then sifting through it until you build a strong and solid basis. It's not going to be done overnight, but whatever effort you put into establishing your right price will determine the results. 

Go out and price yourself right.

WITH LOVE...

Mbuelo Ramafamba 

X MARKS THE SPOT

A wise man once told me, "draw an X and make sure you never miss it". But what he didn't tell me was that if somehow your X gets erased or you hit it way too many times, you have to draw another one.

This all probably doesn't make sense to you just as it didn't make sense to me when i first heard it. You have me to explain it to you. I had life to explain it. I will still leave out a bit for life to show you also. Learning and growing wouldn't be fun if you had everything explained to you.

With all that we do there are going to be exciting times and not so exciting times. Usually the less exciting times tend to go on for long. Fuelled by the lack of joy nor satisfaction, they often feel like a lifetime. But what we often miss is that these moments feast on our attention and focus. 

By focusing so much energy on how bad the situation is, you are  drawing an X over the bad side of it and aiming at it with all your ammo. You are instead supposed to be creating a target which you know will bring satisfaction and use that satisfaction to keep you motivated to go through the rest of the stuff. Often times you need not look outside the situation to find something to focus your attention on, and this usually leads to a greater solution overall. You can choose to have many focus points, but not too many, which upon hitting the X will build up together towards solving the overall problem. It's like being at a tactical shooting range training; you aim for the target, shoot then go to the next target. You have to make sure you hit the target before going to the next one. At the end of the day, you will see how much you've done by using the divide and conquer method. Just like how you eat your dinner in small chunks instead of trying to swallow down the whole meal at once. If you try that you most definitely choke. So sometimes the situation might seem impossible because of how you approach it. Make your X and make sure you never miss it, and once hit, move to the next.

Always remember that when the target is hit you need to move to the next target in order to progress. Progression is what we want, but we still want to enjoy every step of the way while we are at it. When you finish off your dinner, you do not just sit there and stare at the plate but instead clear the table and wash the plates. It's amazing how our much our daily activities can teach us a lot about focusing and shifting after hitting the target we set for ourselves, yet still driving satisfaction. Make everything a target to draw out the adventure side of it, and this way you will find great joy in achieving it. Just like how you go from preparing the meal, to eating, then doing the dishes and finally resting, the same can steps are what's needed to tackle everyday challenges. Most days you cook what you already know, some days you cook new things you've never cooked, But it's all about making that X. Set the target, hit it, get satisfaction and then jump to the next one.

WITH LOVE..

Mbuelo Ramafamba